Thursday, January 31, 2008

Another Baby Will Day

Went today do see Will again. He's not grown a ton but he looks different in the face to me. Poor guy was pretty worked up over some bathroom issues while we were there. Strange the things mothers do. He's simply georgous though.

Got my new glasses yesterday. Forgot to take a photo. Will do that tonight. Yesterday I was off work to do a medical test at the hospital. Through a strange turn of events I ended up not doing the test, which gave John and I the entire day to just be together. We had a great time. Went antique shopping, saw a movie, picked out his new glasses, went to a fabric store. It was lovely. I'm going to be making us some fabric wallets for our new money system. Right now it's easier for us to see how much money we have in cash for things like groceries and such. So I picked out some really nice Amy Butler fabric with part of my gift card from Christmas. I got some cute bias tape and big buttons. Now I just have to sit down and sew them up. I know I won't have time before my trip. So afterwards.

Going to start packing tonight. I feel like I won't have time over the weekend. We're doing a fun get together weekend with my mom for her Birthday that was earlier in the month. I got her a nice gift I'm super excited to give her. It's so her. I love when you find a present that reminds you of that person. When you find that just right thing. Anyway, I'm excited to use my new Le Sportsac tote for the first time. It's so big and roomy. I'm trying to decide what would be best to pack in it. I'm going to hopefully not pack a ton of stuff like I normally do. We'll see.

We're supposed to get snow today. All we've seen so far are flurries. I wonder if that's it. The temp outside isn't warm by any means but it's at least above freezing.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The Green Eyed Monster

I have this love for green. Anyone who has known me ten minutes knows it. Today I'm really crushing on emerald. I think it's actually my favorite color of all. I'm seeing it a lot lately too, which makes me happy. I think the flats and the sweater might be in my future.

Snowing, AGAIN

Yesterday it was 60's. Nice. I had open toed heels on for heaven's sake. Now it's snowing. The ground is completely covered and people are working like crazy to clean the streets and sidewalks here. The weather guy said it was just supposed to be flurries with no accumulation. WRONG! I'm glad I brought my hat and gloves. I'm so over snow.

Today I've been pretty productive. Got a ton of stuff on my list done. I have tomorrow off work. Things have been really day to day around our house lately. I tried taking some photos the other night but didn't really come up with much. Hopefully next week in Texas will be more promising.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

It's Only Thursday?

Today I had this notion it was Friday. I was making plans and getting excited but then realized that it was only Thursday. Sigh...It's also a super long Thursday which doesn't help. Not one bit. I've done the work i need to do today. I'm waiting on people to email me back at this point. I'm here just waiting.

I haven't been up to much lately. I got my teeth cleaned yesterday and an eye exam. New frames on their way. I hate hate hate that they have you pic out frames AFTER your eyes are all fuzzy and watery. I sure hope the ones I picked are cute like they looked to my fuzzy watery eyes.

Tonight I'm finally going to put the new bedding Gran got us for a Christmas gift on the bed. I've been super excited to see how it's going to look but haven't taken the time to actually put it on. I think it's going to make me want a new headboard though. We'll see. Pics tomorrow. I haven't taken any photos lately. Not sure why. I think Winter has sucked the life right out of me. Makes me not want to be doing anything but warm under my couch blanket. I'm so over winter.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Shake Your Groove Thing, Shake Your...

Ok. So I've been a busy girl this afternoon. I've been searching the net for inspirations and found loads and loads. Here are just a few shots/things that have made my heart race today...

Love these rockers. I would take any or all of them. I can see me rocking a little Mr in one of these. Someday...
This painting is so cute. It's John and me. I love it when I find these types of things. I love this little gals hair and shirt. Her collar bones stick out just like mine too.

Love this necklace. I currently own a few wooden jewelry pieces and still love this look like crazy. I actually have handmade wooden earrings on right now. Yeah for me. Interesting organic-y art. Reminds me of this show we watched on Discovery about underwater creatures. It was so freakin fascinating. I love it when John and I geek out like that on science shows. Some of them I find very boring but this one was cool.

Also, in case you haven't heard. Heath Ledger was found dead today. He was only 28. Had a cute little girl but was separated from his (i think) wife. It pains me that we've lost two pretty great actors within two weeks. Brad Renfro also died last week. Amazing to me that someone so young could/would take their own life. Heath for sure because he had a little one that looked up to him. I can't imagine being in such a place of selfishness that you would end your life without thinking of how it might effect others. It's not about living your life "FOR" other people but when you have a child, your life is not your own anymore. That's the way I see it. Very Sad news. He's got Batman coming out this summer and it looks to be bloody brilliant. Terrible thing. He had some great movies: The Patriot, A Knights Tale, 10 Things I Hate About You, The Brothers Grimm...

Since When? Huh?!

Since when did I become a person who has such a hard time deciding on things? I know at times in my life I've struggled with that but I feel like I've grown in that area considerably. I mean at my job I have to make decisions for my execs all the time. It's nerve racking but I do it fine. But lord, try and get me to pick out fabric for a project or even a project for that matter!!! I have a $75 gift card to the coolest fabric store I know of right now. I can't decide what project I want to do and so I get overwhelmed by all the cuteness and have to leave. My husband doesn't understand this. Frankly I don't understand it either. I've been wanting to make a quilt for sometime. I've been eyeing a ton of these Amy Butler projects and John got me the coolest project cards for Christmas but for the ever living love of my I can't pick! Then once I pick I'll sit and look at the fabric for ages because "OMG! What if I screw it up!!!" I was always like this with my new school supplies. I hated using them because they were so perfect and new. I'm still like that today. When I get a new notebook, I leave it empty. Does that make me neurotic? Sigh...

BTW, if you haven't already guessed, I'm completely obsessed with Amy Butler. This woman makes the most amazing stuff and I'm so inspired by her work. I don't even like printed stuff and Amy stretches my boundaries in that area with every new pattern she creates. She's a witch-y woman, she is.

My Mind Is Mush

Lately my mind has just felt like complete mush. When I go home at night, I just zone out. It's like my brain isn't working. I have things around my house that have to get done. Just like everyone else's house, if you let things slip for more than a day your entire house is out of balance. We end up not having socks or a clean plate. I think it's the cold. I am so over the cold at this point and it feels like it's never going to go away. Our house is drafty too, which doesn't help. I've still yet to figure out the perfect winter house outfit and temp for the heater.

Our weekend was pretty uneventful. We did the normal shopping for the food stuff we needed for the week. Target. Normal stuff. I did make a large pan of really good turkey enchiladas. I haven't made them in forever. I'm shocked how good they turned out to be.

Met with Jon and Lauren and a little coffee place on Friday night to talk over wedding plans. Right now I'm pretty stressed about it because I've no idea how we're going to make it work. The person I planned to have cater the reception can't now. I'm trying to figure out decorations and trying to keep in mind that they really want to keep this thing eco friendly. I'm going to try to do my best to do that for them. I just don't know how that is going to work just yet. I printed out a wedding planner guide yesterday so I could go down the checklist to make sure we haven't missed anything. I hope we can really make this work with the time, space and money we have. So far this is what we have. The bridesmaids dresses look like this.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

What's Time To A Hog?

The title really has nothing to do with anything. I just think it's funny. My Grandpa used to say it all the time. I came out with it the other day like it was something I've been saying my entire life. Weird.

I don't really have anything to say right now. It's almost the end of the day. I've been actually able to focus on work for a large portion of the day. I have been thinking about more home decorating today. Been thinking about sewing. Been thinking about making art. Needing to make art.

We're going out tonight with Jon and Lauren. Well, we're meeting them for coffee to discuss their wedding plans. I'm loosely helping them plan their May 10th wedding. At this point I have no idea where we are going to meet them but I'm excited to see someplace new, have a white chocolate mocha and talk about colors. I love weddings. I've always thought it would be cool to be a wedding planner BUT then I watched that show about wedding planners and HOLY COW! I couldn't do it. People freak out on their wedding day. Take it out on you. Lose their minds! Craziness. I barely remember my wedding. I was so nervous for some reason. I knew this guy. I knew all the people. Why the heck would I be nervous?! The cake was tasty. The punch was good too. Man I was skinny. Ahhh... Old times.
BTW, I'm in serious love with those pants.

Just Call Me?

So all these shows I watch (which granted tv isn't real life AND it's evil) all these people have these names that I don't get how you go about getting called.

Kit Pistol, SweetP, Kat Von D...

I need a made up rocker name. Taking all suggestions...

The Cut and Other Stuff

So got my hair cut last night. Feels good for it to be easy. Short. Shorter than I wanted but in a week it will be perfect. That's how it always is. Here is the before and after. Today I'm full of thoughts. I've been thinking about my Grandma Ann. Thinking about how I miss her and how special she was to me. I remember her as always telling sarcastic jokes or making up funny names for things. She always made me laugh. I remember he hair and how it had a shiny glow from all the hair spray. I remember how she wore stretch strap pants and made her own earrings. She collected miniature tea sets and porcelain dolls. She made the best tea. Always a fresh pitcher on the kitchen counter. I loved that house. It was all so magical because I was young. I remember her smoking those long skinny Eve cigarettes. It's what killed her. She drove a white truck with those multi colored woven mats on the seats. She had a mass hoard of wiener dogs that would run out and bark their heads off when you would pull up to the house. There were many barns full of old stuff. I loved to explore them. I remember she gave me the old kitchen coop for my play house. She helped me paint it, she made me curtains for the windows and we brought in furniture and dishes. I even had a clothes line outside to hang up all my dolls clothes and kitchen towels. I remember she had a white claw foot tub and always used the same white plastic hair brush. She had dentures for as long as I can remember and would pop them out at random times just to freak me out. She would make bacon sandwiches for breakfast and say "Yello..." when she answered the phone. She was strong, funny, smart and most of all, she really cared about other people. I think about her everyday of my life still. It's been 11 years I think. I'm proud to have her smile. Proud to have her temper. I'm proud to call her my Grandma.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

For The Last Time Today, I Think...

So if you could come back as anyone, who would it be? I mean I don't really believe in that stuff but general speaking, lets IMAGINE you could. Who would it be?

I'd be Kat Von D...
Maybe not the best choice overall but seriously, She's freaking super pretty and every man I know thinks she is amazing. Plus, shes got a fun personality and she a wicked good artist. I think tattooing people for a job all day would be ok. Maybe a hard job only because I would think over half of what I was permanently putting on people was stupid but that's just me.
This is her cat. I mean seriously I've always wanted one of this little guys.

More Blah, Blah, Blah

I'm feeling stupendously house-y right now. I've been out looking at shots of people's wonderfully creative and well organized homes. I don't like traditional stuff. Here are some of the shots I adore the most...

I just want our house to be done. I want some magical fairy godmother to come in and make it cute. Pick out all the stuff (but stuff I would like) and just wave her magic wand. I know it's a process. I know it takes time. People, I'm goin on two years here. Well in this house. We've never had a style or really something that felt home like. It's all seemed like collage students. Not having carpet bothers me too. I feel like my house is ghetto. I know I chose to rip it up. It's an impulse thing I inherited for my dear mother. It's not bad but sometimes we don't think past the problem. I'm glad to have that nasty carpet gone but now I have plain plank flooring in there and pretty hard wood everywhere else. Soon.
We just need to do some shopping. Some second hand shopping. I need storage and little stuff to warm up the house. Make things cute. I need hooks for hanging coats, aprons, handbags. I need really book storage the cat can't knock over. I need a small dinning set and white vases for little flowers. I need vintage fabric to sew curtains, table cloths, tea towels. I need stuff for my walls big time. I'm the worst with pictures. The worst.

Today's Obsessions

Today I'm not feeling focused. I keep getting cold and then SUPER hot. Don't know but I hope like heck I'm not getting sick. I'm having trouble getting a ton of work done. My mind is wondering off to someplace else. Mainly today I'm thinking about skincare products, make up, knitting, sewing projects, sketching more and making our house cute. I need to do more of all this stuff. I know. A ton of stuff all in my head at once. No wonder I can't get any "work" done. John agreed he would learn to knit with me. I think it might be a fun project to try together. I don't have specific things at this point I want to knit but I just want to be able to say I CAN knit. I also want to quilt. That can't be that tough. It's sewing. I prefer hand sewing anyways. Always have. That machine makes me insane. Guess I'm normally just a few clicks away from there anyways.
Nothing super important or exciting today. I went out to lunch with my best girlfriend from work. Alison is a constant source of giggles and making fun of one another. We have such a great time together. We're polar opposites and we mention that to one another often. She thinks people with tattoos are scary. I think that's funny. We compliment each other really well.
Work is work. They finally sent out a tiny note about the stuff that went down Monday. Basically they said they will send out another message soon really telling us what is going on. They also say there isn't anymore to come. Hm. We'll see.

Was suppose to see little Will tonight but Tiff's Grandad is sick and might not make it through the night. Maybe next week. We are going to get hair cuts though. I can't even tell you how excited I am. These bangs are just making me nuts. I will still have bangs but they will be far shorter and more manageable. Pictures tomorrow I'm sure.

We're suppose to get snow tonight. Two to four inches. We'll see. I'm going to be so glad to go to Texas in two weeks where the weather will be in the upper 60's. I can't even remember how you dress for the upper 60's. My cube neighbour is going to The Camen Islands next week. It was 85 there today. I hate her. No. She's a really nice lady. I'm really glad for her. Blessed to be sitting so near to her.

Ok. Off to...

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Back Lash

So far it's been wild rumors. Names floating around here and there. People whispering in the corners and people nervously walking to meetings. The word is more is on the way. Don't have an exact number or how many more they plan. It's a little nerve racking. Not because I'm scared for my job but because I know so many people here and hate to see anyone be effected. So far about 13 people I know are gone.

Other things today are going well though. Not really much going on and that's mighty fine with me. It's my mom's birthday, Happy Birthday Momma! She's out shopping for something great for herself. I'm shopping today got spring stuff. Well more spring inspiration. I plan to make a lot of skirts and dresses this coming season. I want to start now but need some motivation. Boden is a favorite of mine for clothing. I've still yet to buy a thing from there but not because I don't love every single thing in the magazine. I pour over those pages every time it comes to my mailbox. Here is a sneak peek of their new spring cuteness.

I'm ramping up for our trip to Texas. Trying to figure out what I'm going to take. I don't think I've ever been there in winter. It's going to be strange not to be wearing sandals and tank tops. John and I were talking last night about a possible trip in June/July. I was telling him about the list I've already made for stuff we would need to take. He laughed. He thinks it's funny I'm a planner. It's actually obsessive with me but in strange things. Not everything. Like I have to plan what I'm going to pack for a trip or what clothes I need to buy for the next season. Can't help it.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Interesting Monday

Today has been a really interesting day. My work is doing something I've never seen happen. Around 1000 people will not have a job after today. It's a scary thing to watch your friends go into a room and come out their lives changed. It's a scary thing to know what is going to happen and they don't. It's a sad day really. People I've known for years. People who've given half their lives to this place. Tossed like garbage out the door. It's tough. Really tough.

Friday, January 11, 2008

This Is Where My Mind Wanders Off To...

All of these photos are taken but a super cool lady who lives in Washington. She's just amazing and very inspirational to me. She has five kids and a really cute hubby. She makes amazingly cute things, as shown above. Today she is my mentor. My guide on how to make life worth living everyday. She has a ton of really cool photos on her flickr page. Take a look...
Happy Happy Weekend. I'm outtie in 14 minutes!!!!

And They All Screamed Their Loudest

We went last night on a whim of mine to Genghis Khan to eat. I love it there. I tend to pile my blue bowl up with a tiny bit of noodles, a ton of mushrooms, broccoli, edamame, shrimp and mild sauce with a little sesame oil added. Taste-T as John would say. He got this incredibly womany drink that I just loved the looks of. Orange makes me happy lately. While we were there, we talked about how his sisters are pregnant and if we wanted one and when. Funny how when you are trying to talk about babies they are EVERYWHERE! I'm talkin ever couple in that joint had one. Super tiny to toddler age. One little guy was really upset. He is really small and I think maybe he wanted to eat something. His dad got him calmed down after a little bit and he was just so cute. It's funny how that baby crying sound doesn't sound like noise when your body is say "HELLO! We're not getting any younger! Why not do it NOW???" I have no reasoning. Nothing other than I'm scared and I think we have a tiny house. Our tiny house would be fine though. We would just have to baby proof some things. It's so much work. So much. I know a girl who has two. She gets up at 4am each morning to get some house work done before waking them up at 5:30 to get them ready for day care. By the time she gets to work at 7:00am she's managed to drink an entire pot of coffee by herself. That is nuts.
Today hopefully will be good. It's sunny and It's almost 10:30 already. That' good. I have a lot of boring tasks ahead of me before I can leave. Once I go home. No idea. No plan for the weekend. Probably just house stuff. Laundry, dishes, sweeping, dusting. All need to be done. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind the work or the house being clean.
Happy Weekend.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Yesterday was so bad I don't even wanna talk about it. I went home, sat on the couch and didn't move till it was time to move to the bed. New day. Today's been better. Work is always going to be work. I feel lately like I want to spend all of my time on the treadmill or reading a really good book that I've yet to find. Today I found out that my other sister in law is pregnant. Lovely. I'm so conflicted about the baby thing. I want one and I think I want one now. My head tells me to wait but I'm not sure for what. The Unknown, as He is known around our house. Who knows what will happen a week from now let alone 9 months. Then I think about is our house big enough? No. If we get a bigger one then I'm going to have to work. Well I assume I would but I don't want to. Not because I want to sit at home and eat Cheetos all day ( I couldn't) but because I want to freaking clean our house, clean our clothes, take care of our life that always seems to slip through the cracks. I fell like I can't focus. I can't do it all and be everything to everyone. Part of that is self made. In my head. Part of it isn't. When at work, I have to know it all, what time it's doing what and make sure it gets expensed on time. Period. I have people who rely on me to think for them. I've gotten good at it. Thinking about peoples needs before they need it has always been something I've been good at. That part of me thinks I'll be a good mom. Back to subject. When I get home, I've exhausted that part of my brain. Don't wanna think anymore. Don't wanna have to gather, wash, dry and fold all the clothes or gather, wash, load, unload, repeat all the dishes. When does the enjoying yourself/life come in? Even if I threw away all the random crap around our house, things would still get messy. Where does it all come from and do I really want to add another person to this spinning mass of confusion?

ok. breathe...

It would almost be better if I got pregnant on accident. That way there would be no going back and I would have to just get over all my freaking out. Bite my tongue right. I have a ton inside me. A ton I want to do/create. At least an hour a day of my life is spent seeking out inspiration to fuel me on. To give me hope. My hope seems a little dim right now. I know it's just my vantage point.

And we live another day...

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Yesterday Pt. 2

So yesterday's visit to baby Willie was good. Good to see Tiff and to see she is doing ok. I worry about her. Will slept the entire time we were there sadly. I saw him with his eyes open maybe two seconds. I didn't care though. I just held him tight and talked to him anyways. He's cute. I mean REALLY cute. He even had on my favorite outfit. The foxes are so dang cute! I of course had to spike his hair, which his momma didn't really love but she knows it's just me.

Walked last night. Felt good even though my legs were sore. Made some dinner. Watched The Biggest Loser. John and I normally don't watch tv but we both got sucked into this show because these people are working so hard to change their lives. It really was cool. Very inspirational.

Going today to lunch with two of my execs. They wanted to take me out for Christmas but schedules never really worked out. We're going someplace nice but I'm not sure where. I also have to figure out a huge mess of an expense report today as well. Sounds like I'm gonna have a swingin time!!!

Looking for a hair cut. Something easy. I've over this bangs I've got to straighten just to look decent, blow drying the sides a certain way (only to have me tuck them behind my ears as soon as I get to work). I just want something easy. I'm also going to do some fun color something. Not sure what yet. Gotta find the cut first. And fast.

That's it for now. More later I'm sure...

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Today (Well Yesterday Really), Pt 1

So it's 9:44am. I've already been through a venti white chocolate mocha and my eyes are still baggy. Hm. I'm going today to see baby willie. I'll have pictures hopefully. He's so dang cute.

Last night I got home and walked/jogged on my treadmill for about an hour. Felt good and tough at the same time. I felt like jello when I got off that thing. I cooked dinner. Gnocchi w meat sauce. It was killer good. John said they looked like tiny brains. Yum. My plan was to be a cleaning goddess but that didn't happen. I did sweep though. One point for me. I then decided to take a bath. I realized while in the bath that I haven't taken a bath in a very long time. I don't remember ever taking a really sit in the tub bath since our first apartment. Something may be wrong with me. It was nice. I yelled over the very loud video game in the living room "Baby! Could you get me my camera?!" He yells back "Why do you need your camera in the bath?" Sigh... "To take a picture" He says "You're in the bath, naked. What are you going to take a picture of?" Ok. At some point he's going to understand that when the desire to take a picture comes on, well you don't mess with that. You just give in a snap away till you get the shot you love. Here's what I got after much confusion. "Here let me help you turn off the flash" & "Ok I'll just hold my finger over the light while you take the shot. Are you ready?" All this while I'm submerged in scalding hot water. I had to giggle a little. I like the red tint. Makes it kinda creepy in a way. Cool.

Also today I wanted to showcase some of my hubby's art. He's so good at this. I can't even imagine. I can draw a tiny bit but he's got such a great sense of shading that I have never been able to figure out.

Love the self portrait. It's the second one, in case you hadn't guessed. Yes, his hair USED to look like that.

More later once I've gone to see Willie...

Monday, January 07, 2008

Well Now

So I have a ton to say and I've no idea why. I didn't have some earth shaking weekend. I didn't do anything to bring on the amount of things I want to say. Funny how one little thing (my thing being a greeting card in target) can kick you in the butt and make you realize a lot in a super short amount of time. First, this weekend was nice. I didn't feel all that great on Saturday and rested the entire day. Beautiful. Sunday we slept in and got around to wonderful weather. Like no coat and a short sleeve short weather. Wow. In Jan! We went a few places (one being my favorite craft store. This store is so amazing and I wish I could work there. The window displays are wonderful. The people who work there are wonderful. It's all just so cute and wonderful. I could seriously be in there for hours looking at everything. I get anxious though when I'm in there and end up just scanning the store and quickly but quietly exiting with nothing. Why? Well because I want everything and I have trouble narrowing it down.) Got some groceries and of course went to Target. I'm not sure what I would do without Target. I mean, I'd have to shop at Walmart and well, I just don't know. I think we would have a lot less stuff. Hm. Anyway, back on track. Target, greeting card isle, me reading an orange and green card with a bird on the front. You know I love orange and birds, so it seemed like a perfect thing. I smiled at the picture and then I read the words printed. Simple words. Nothing, again, earth shaking but highly meaningful to me at this time in my life. It said:

"Don't just live the life you've been given, make the life you want."

See. Simple. Wow. I had to buy the card. It made me think and anything that makes me think is worth my $2.99. So I started to wonder "what kind of life do I want? What in my life can I change? AND how do I do this?" Below is my brain storm of the answers that flowed out of my head and into my fingers...

I wanna make fun skirts, and wear tall socks with boots, I want to have cute hair that is funny colored and easy, I want to cook and bake and eat yummy things, I want to run and be happy with my body, I want to live in a house that reflects who we are, I want to be a fun person and smile a lot, I want to listen to music, I want to open the windows, I want to have jugs of flowers in my kitchen, I want to sew gifts for my family, I want to learn to knit even if it hurts my hands, be the wife of my husband’s dreams, I want to clean my house with joy, I want to day dream, I want to love my job no matter what I’m doing, I want to know God in a new way and have him use me to touch others lives, I want to read good books, I want to take baths by candle light, I want to shop in thrift stores and antique malls, I want to enjoy the day, I want to be good to myself and others, I want to be inspired by everyday women, I want to someday be a mom, I want to someday not work outside the home, I want to call my parents, I want to be a good person, I want to make a quilt, make our house a home, not take things or people for granted, wear high heels, learn to live with less, become more organized