Tenth Avenue North
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
She and I went to lunch today. We talked. Not about our relationship but about her. I started out just kind of letting her talk. Letting her vent as she always does. I figure being a sounding board isn't the worst thing. She needs someone objective to talk to. As she talks though, I feel this stir. I feel that God Thing inside me clawing at the back of my lips wanting to get out. So I open and let loose. She's having marriage troubles. This I've known for some time. She's not been willing to do anything about it and I've not really been that helpful because honestly she never listens to what I have to say anyway. So I normally just shake my head and we move on. I realize I'm the one who's been letting her down. I'm the one who's been giving her the weird treatment of sorts because I've not been who I am. Who she knows me to be. So we talk. We talk for awhile. I am choosing my words carefully at first because as good of friends as I like to think we are, we've never discussed the "God" aspect of things. I know she occasionally goes to church but in my eyes church is just a by product of loving god, not what it's about. Not the meat of relationship with God. So after awhile of this careful dance we're doing with one another I open my mouth wide. Low and behold, That God Thing crawls straight out of my stomach and lands right in the middle of the car between us. I'm watching in horror as my mouthpiece is spilling these much needed words to my best girlfriend. Speaking to her from my own life experience, telling her things I've read in books and being honest for once. Really honest. Telling her that marriage isn't easy and it's not going to be. It's about a decision that you make sometimes moment by moment to love that person past what he does or says. You love him for you who know he is. I'm telling her she needs to make a real decision to either stay married to this guy or not. And if she chooses to stay with him, she needs to be ready to make a fool of herself by an means necessary to figure out the puzzle that is marriage and how it applies to hers. Good thing she was driving because she hopefully didn't look over and see the disconnect between my eyes wide in disbelief of what my mouth was saying. I told her I wasn't smart. It's not that I was born with all this. I sought it out. When things get tough your real desperation is shown. "Are you truly desperate enough for you marriage to work to do whatever it takes?" I say to her. She's stunned. She doesn't know what to say. I tell her that's the real choice here. Not what things she's going to nag at him next about or if she wants to "secretly" go hang out with some dude she dated in high school. It's real life people. About this time we get back to work and thank the Lord because who knows what else might have popped out. I know the Lord has probably been trying to get me to say those things for ages to her and the weirdness was mine because I wasn't doing what I was suppose to. Funny how that works...
The proof now will be in the pudding for me because I'll wait to see what she does. She may really do this this time or she may not. The proof will be me loving her past what she does. Doing exactly what I told her to do. Loving her past what she does and loving her for who she is. I've always wondered why God gives me friends that always need something from me but today I realized that it's how he uses me. My ministry as some people say. I've never thought of myself as a person who could go to another country and reach the masses but one person at a time, I can do that...
Quick Update: We've not been back at work a full hour yet and she's already freaking out about something to do with their checkbook. Calling him saying she's going to get a separate account and is mad because he's laughing at her. I say "He's laughing because he thinks you're being irrational" she says that she isn't. Sigh...At least I learned something from our talk about her marriage today.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Except for, I have to mention, this whole long haired out of control look that Jon is sporting these days? I'm seriously not a fan. This is just to wicked long mate!I'm also struggling with the hat but I'll spare you the upset.
I love Judi Dench. She's in another of my all time favorite movies ever, Chocolat. She's done everything and can be anybody. Really she's inspiring to me just because she's so strong yet still remains to caring and aware of herself. She's not brittle when it counts and really, would you want to meet her in a dark alley if she was pissed at you? M or not.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Today looks to be a pretty low key day at work. Most everyone is out of the office that I support and I've got two meetings.
Perhaps more later today...
Monday, May 19, 2008
I got a ton of books, shirts, cd's and dvd's to keep my summer busy at the conference as well. I bought every Delirious CD they had on the tables and two t shirts. I love these guys and believe in their music. They are really cool guys that REALLY love God. To my that's so important and muchly worthy of my money.
Me, Packin around the vast amount of stuffs I bought, eat and read while at the conference.
Anyway, nose back to the grindstone for a few days. Looking forward to a three day weekend coming up with nothing to do.
Enjoy some videos from the conference I took...
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Since I last wrote I've picked up a few new habits. Cleaning the house like crazy, an unnatural love for Chanel makeup and learning to belly dance. How about that!
More to come later...
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Above just a few of the things I got in the GREAT state of TX. Totally cute summer weight kelly green jacket. Large bottle of my favorite perfume of the moment "Nina Ricci" and what would be vacation without some new shoes?! Got these Steve Madden's at Dillards and I just LOVE them. They are pretty high but I almost don't know how to walk in flat shoes it seems. Love this stuff...