Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Ok, I Am Here

So just in case you thought that I'd totally disappeared, I haven't. Lives been a little crazy lately. A very dear and sweet man passed away a few days ago and we were all just dealing with it in our own way. I think this is the first time that a person who I haven't been really related to or knew that well dying has effected me. I think I'm old enough now to understand that life in these bodies isn't eternal. At this point I would not be honest if I didn't say that fact makes me a little happy and a little sad. The thought of going to heaven is this wonderful thing but can't really be perceived by human minds. I can read about it but the full measure of what we'll experience is lost on me. The sad part is more about leaving family but mostly John. I've always struggled with the not being married to that person anymore when you get there thing. That's just my human mind not being able to wrap around the concept that being in the presence of God will be so wonderful that it won't matter. Or that I'll love everyone the way I love John. Again, something I'm just going to have to experience first hand to believe fully. The difficult part of the funeral was seeing the wife of many many years say good bye for one last time. I imagined myself in that spot today after only four years of marriage. I would be slain with grief, so I truly can't imagine the pain of losing your partner after so many years.

So on a lighter note, It's bloody cold here today. Like all of seven degrees bloody cold. Everyone at work is just chilled to the bone and walking around with steaming cups of misc drinks. My wonderful hubby even warmed up my car this morning it's so cold. I just dislike old man winter. He's a nasty old man. I'm just so ready for tank tops outside, bar b q parties and sun tans. I'm excited to work in the yard again and put landscaping in at our house. It's gonna be a fun spring/summer.

Also, a hair cut was in order. I was a bit panicked at first because my hair had become so long and I was used to it but I am really liking the cut now and it's just SOOOO easy.

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